The Notebook: Cullen Style!
by BubblyAmericanWriter1
Summary: Bella finds this old notebook as she's going through all of her junk and she decides that she isn't going to talk for an entire two months. Instead, she'll be communicating through that said notebook. The Cullens aren't human! Canon pairings! COMPLETE!
1. You Flushed My Pet Banana!

**A/N:**

**Hey. Yeah. Me again. Yup, new story idea. Sorry, but this was too good to pass up! I'm going to make it as random as possible and very different if I can from the other stories like these that I've read. I pinky swear!**

**Summery: Bella finds this old notebook as she's going through all of her junk and she decides that she isn't going to talk for an entire two months. Instead, she'll be communicating through that said notebook. The Cullens aren't human! Canon pairings!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything, I'd be making out with Emmett instead of writing this, you dimwits!**

* * *

**Edward; **Bella; _**Jasper; **Alice; _**Emmett; **_**Rosalie**_

(Cullen Residence; at their dining room table. Bella has just announced she isn't going to talk for two whole months and has started writing notes in her notebook.)

**Bella...**

What?

**This is a little drastic, don't you think?**

...No

_Why are you doing this, Bella? Is it because I take you shopping 24/7? -pouts-_

_**Why are you pouting on paper when I can clearly see you pouting, Alice?**_

_Oh shove it, Jasper. -scowls-_

_**-sigh- There you go again! Oh crap. I did it too..**_

_Ha! See!_

_**Damn.**_

_**Guys, what's Emmett doing?**_

**"She wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikini..."**

**Emmett...**

**Huh?**

**Have you lost your damn mind?**

**Edward?**

**What?**

**Can you read my mind?  
**

**Um, yes I believe I can.**

**Then, no: I haven't 'lost my damn mind'**

**-growls-**

Edward... -rolls eyes-

_**-sends out calm waves- Better?**_

-giggles stupidly- Ahh..touch my body!

**Oh great, Jasper, you got Bella DRUNK!**

**Ahahahahaha!**

(Bella snaps to attention when she hears Emmett laughing. She gets pissed.)

EMMETT!

**What? What'd I do!?**

-crying- You flushed my pet BANANA! -runs away crying-

**...**

**_..._**

**_..._**

**...**

**Well that was awkward..**

* * *

**A/N:**

**Ha! So what'd you think? Liked it? Hated it? Both? I was dieing laughing while writing this! You have no idea how hard it was to keep my composure! My mom is still staring at me...Oh crap. I forgot to take my ADHD meds..Oh well.**

**Reviews make me happy!**

**They also make me update faster!**

**:)  
**

**~L  
**


	2. You Look Just Like Rob Pattinson!

**A/N:**

**Ha-Ha-HA! I had a total inspiration for chapter two of this story! Seriously, okay, I'll explain it at the bottom Author's Note.**

**For now, just enjoy the story!**

* * *

**Edward; **Bella

(They are at the movies, about to watch "Twilight" on its opening day. They are sitting at the very top.)

Oh my god, Edward, I'm so freaking excited!

**Why? It's just a movie..**

-gets angered- JUST A MOVIE?!

**....yes?**

Oh I'll show you just a movie!

**That makes no sense...**

What's with all the ...s?

**I have no clue.**

(Movie starts; Rob comes on)

OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! -squeals-

**Bella, I'm right next to you. I can hear you squeal.**

Oh my god.

**What?!**

Did you know..

**..Did I know what?  
**

That you look exactly like..like..

**..Who?**

...ROB PATTINSON!

**Oh great, now you've done it. Oh my God. Son of a...**

..EDWARD CULLEN! Don't you write it!

**....asparagus.**

What the crap?

**What? I didn't say it?**

...True.

**Why are all the girls staring at me?**

I dunno.

(Suddenly, they see Edward and everyone yells," OH MY GOD! IT'S ROB PATTINSON! GET HIM!")

**Oh Fantastic. Time to go Bella.**

NO! I WAITED IN LINE FOR 6 HOURS TO SEE THIS MOVIE! BACK OFF, YOU MONGRELS! I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY!

**You know they can't hear you right?**

Oh right. -says it out loud-

**Bella.. -sighs impatiently-**

What?

**Just spray the damn pepper spray already!**

(Bella sprays it in all the girl's eyes. They yell, "I can't see! It burns!")

What do you say, Edward? -becomes super smug-

**Oh, right. Remind me to thank Charlie for putting that in your bag...**

And...? What else?

**Oh yeah. Nikki Reed is so HOT!**

....

**Bella?**

-gets on the phone with Emmett- "Yeah, Edward thinks Rosalie is hot and is going to steal her away from you.")

(There's an angry growl on the other end and Emmett suddenly appears in front of them)

OOh, you in trouble... -eats popcorn casually-

**-sarcastically- Thanks Bella. -fearful- Emmett...Oh look! A SQUIRREL!**

(Emmett looks around stupidly. "WHERE?")

(Edward takes off for Alaska. Emmett looks quizzically at Bella. She hands him a pencil and the note.)

Hey, don't look at me. I'm not responsible for my boyfriend's actions...I am, however, responsible for mine. So excuse me while I drool over Kellen Lutz...

(Emmett shakes his head and mutters, "Women.")

* * *

**A/N:**

**Yeah, I know it sucks. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Sorry if you don't like it. The next chapter will be so much better, I promise!**

**Inspiration: Well, of course, my inspiration was the Twilight movie!**

**You see that button?**

**Yeah that one.**

**It says, "Review"**

**Yeah. Push it.**

**Why the hell are you still reading this?!**

**Push **

**The**

**Button!**

**Reviews make me happy! They also make for faster updates! :)**

**Love and Hugs!**

**~L  
**


	3. Pickles and Bananas And The Box!

**A/N:**

**Okay like I have to update this now before I forget. There'll be an explanation at the bottom of the story in the Author's Note.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Edward; Emmett; _Rosalie; _**Alice; _Jasper; Special Guest!!!  
_

(Bella is taking a shower and the gang is all around the table passing around this note)

**Okay, seriously, why are we even doing this when Bella isn't here?**

I really don't know. I've gotten used to it..

**Yeah, just like I've gotten used to eating bananas and pickles together!**

_What the crap?_

**What? It's surprisingly interesting...-sighs-**

**Why are you sighing...when we all clearly heard you out loud..?**

**I don't know! -looks around wildly- Don't look at me!**

_Emmett, do you need the box?_

Who are you?

_Oops, my bad! My name's Jazz. Hi Alice!_

_Wait, that's MY name._

Nuh uh! Your name is Jasper.

_Oh, right.._

**NO BOX! NOO!**

**Mind telling us what this box is?**

_Umm, how about I just show you?_

_**Mkay.**_

(They all go to the basement where they find a big storage trunk filled with Barbies)

**W.O.W**

**SCARY! MOMMY!**

**_Emmett...oh Emmett!_**

**What?**

(Edward comes from behind and pushes Emmett into the box and locks it)

(Emmett bangs on the box)

**Let me out! LET ME OUT!  
**

**_What the hell? How is he still writing on this?  
_**

I don't know..

_**(Bella) **_(A/N: It's supposed to have a line underneath. Her words are Bold, Italic, AND Underlined. I think you can sort it out. Sorry!)

_**(Bella): Hey guys! What's...Oh God, what's wrong with Emmett?  
**_

**Nothing, Love. Just..playing.**

**_-raises eyebrow- Playing..what exactly?_**

(Rosalie and Alice in Unison Out Loud:)" **_BARBIES!"_**

(Edward and Jasper In Unison Out Loud:) **"Action Figures!"**

(Emmett muffled Out Loud:) "**Pickles and Bananas!"**

**_(Bella): Okay... -walks away-_**

**Bella..**

**_(Bella): What?_**

**-sighs- Never Mind.**

_-giggles- Your girlfriend is so clueless._

**-Smacks Jasper- Shut up Emo Boy..**

(Emmett muffled Out Loud:) **"Hey Edward! Guess What Your Favorite Song Is?"**

(Edward Out Loud:) **"What?"**

(Emmett Starts Singing Out Loud:) **"I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt..Too Sexy.."**

(Alice finally lets Emmett out of the box. Edward slaps him and Emmett gains control of a pencil and can pass notes again.)

_**Emmett..**_

**Huh?**

**_Barney Isn't real.._**

**WHAT! -cries-**

Emmett you can't cry..

**SO?! THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS! -sniffles-**

_Jeez, emotional much?_

_Wow.._

_**Holy crap..**_

_What?_

_**Never Mind..**_

_Seriously what? -eats pickles and bananas-_

_**Ew you're seriously eating that crap?**_

**Hey! I take offence to that!**

**_Emmett, do you want the box again?_**

**-cowers- No..**

**_Alrighty Then.._**

* * *

**A/N:**

**Don't. Ask.**

**I have no clue where this crap came from.**

**I hope it's not too stupid. I just had a sudden urge to write...**

**and this is the end result..**

**sorry!**

**If you're confused here:**

**When it says (-insert name here- Out Loud:)**

**It means they are speaking it instead of writing.**

**Sorry, I know it's confusing!**

**See that button?**

**Down there?**

**Yeah that one.**

**NO to the right.**

**A Little to the left...**

**...STOP! THERE!**

**Yeah push it.**

**Make me happy! :)  
**

**~L  
**


	4. Jasper Goes on Trial!

**A/N:**

**This one isn't as crappy has the last chapter. I swear.**

**BOB (The stupid underline button!) wouldn't behave last chapter so that's why it was poopy. The special guest was my friend ThePurpleDragonOfAmazingness**

**She's AWESOME! Go read her story if you haven't! She's under my favorite authors!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Edward; **_Bella; **Alice; **_**Emmett**

**_Bella, let's play a game!_**

_OKAY!_

**What game, Alice?**

**_Okay, we are all just going to write down whatever thought is passing through our head._**

**Ooh! ME FIRST! Uh...Pickles and Bananas are good!**

**Emmett, Vampires don't eat!**

**-sticks tongue out- That's what you say..**

**No that's what everybody says...oh never mind..**

**_Okay..um...NO! JASPER JUST RIPPED MY NEW JIMMY CHOO PUMPS! BRB!_**

(Alice rushes upstairs to beat up her husband)

_Ha-Ha! Okay, um... OH I KNOW!_

**Oh, I can't WAIT to hear this..**

_Ready?_

**Yes...**

_Okay: Chihuahuas have freakishly large ears!_

**What...**

**The..**

**Crap..?**

_Well, compared to their tiny bodies, they're like MASSIVE! -smiles stupidly-_

_**Okay, okay, what'd I miss?**_

**Read what Bella just wrote..**

**_Ah. That explains soooo much._**

(New person: _Rosalie) _**(A/N: BOB ISN'T BEHAVING! I think you can figure out when she writes.)**

_Hey guys! What's with Jasper? His head's stuck in a toilet.. _**(A/N: That's Rosalie writing..)**

_**-whistles inconspicuously- Nothing...**_

_-Taps foot- Alice, tell me. What'd he do?_

_**Don't freak out and shove his head farther down, okay?**_

_I'm waiting.._

_**Well...Jasper ripped my new Jimmy Choo Pumps..**_

_-outraged- WHAT!?!?! That..that's..like..a CRIME!_

_Maybe he should go on trial??_

**You know, love..that's not a bad idea! -smiles lovingly-**

**_Okay seriously: Stop writing down your actions when we can clearly see them!_**

_Sorry._

**Sorry.**

**_It's okay. Now, let's go put that husband of mine on trial...mwahahaha!_**

_Alice..?_

_**Huh?**_

_You scare me.._

(5 minutes later)

(Bella, Edward, Alice, and Rosalie are seated in front of Jasper. Bella is using a baseball bat as a gravel. Emmett is holding down Jasper.)

**Jasper Whitlock, you do know why you're here, correct?**

**_What the hell? Why are we writing on paper when we can just talk outloud? _**(A/N: That's Jasper Writing)

**Bella isn't talking, remember?**

**_Oh, right. In that case, I have NO clue why I'm here. _**(A/N: Jasper writing again..)

**_It involves a certain pair of brand new Jimmy Choo Pumps.._**

**_Oh, Yeah, about that.._**

**Silence! Bella, honey, would you..**

_Yes! -Bangs Bat-  
_

_**Jasper, we sentence you to 1 hour in the Box!**_

_**NO! NOT THE BOX! ANYTHING BUT THAT! ALICE, BABY, I'M SORRY! I'LL BUY YOU A NEW PAIR!!!!**_

_**Psh. I already did that. In fact, I bought out that whole store.**_

**So THAT'S why the basement is off limits! OH MY GOD! MY X-BOX! NOOO!!**

(Emmett rushes down to the basement, trying to "save" his x-box. In the meantime, Jasper gets loose and runs off.)

**Dammit. Oh well. Bella?**

_Hmm?_

**You wanna...-waggles eyebrows-**

_-face lights up- SURE! -laughs flirtatiously-_

(They both run off to Edward's bedroom. You'd think they'd be 'doing it' but they are really just going on Myspace. Big Shock.)

(Alice, in the meantime..)

_**Ew...**_

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hopefully this chapter was much better. I'm working on making them funnier. I am. Bob Didn't BEHAVE! Poo. Anyway, sorry about that. I think Bob hates me. Anyway...  
**

**Push**

**the**

**button.**

**NO not the x button!**

**A little to the right**

**NO the left**

**No..right..**

**Left..**

**STOP!**

**THERE! **

**Push it!**

**Reviews make me happy! :)**

**~L  
**


	5. sugervampiresparklypie!

**A/N:**

**Okay like this one doesn't have any underlines.**

**(Thank GOD)**

**Bob is being a meany..**

**so.**

**Here ya go!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I'm going to go cry...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Edward; **Bella

(In Edward's room)

Edward?

**Yeah?**

Monkeyballs.

**What the crap?**

Monkey

Balls

**I don't understand..**

Of course not! You're a vampire!

**What does that have anything to do with it?**

Okay so...I don't really know.

**Then why bring up monkeyballs?**

Huh?

**You said it before me!**

OhmyVampire

**What?!**

I have the best idea for a prank on Emmett...who, by the way, told me to write monkeyballs. Oh crap. He owes me a cup of O Positive!

**Bella, honey?**

Yeah, suger-vampire-sparkly-pie?

**Have you been into the caffeine again?**

No..

**Bella, what's that spot on the corner of your mouth?**

Nothing..

**It looks like chocolate..**

So? Chocolate isn't caffeine!

**Why are we even having this conversation?**

I don't know suger-vampire-sparkly-pie-eddy-weddy-freddy-poo-mind-reader-hot-sparkle-vampireness-dude!

**Bella?**

Hmm?

**Stop that.**

Okay.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Eh, not my best chapter, I know. It's just, I'm running out of ideas! A little help please?**

**You'll be mentioned next chapter if you give me ideas! :)**

**Once again:**

**Look down.**

**No to the left..**

**NO the right..**

**No the left..**

**What the hell? Emmett? Did you wipe your mouth on the review button again?**

**Anyway**

**ignore the stain, press the button, and review!**

**They make me happy! :)**

**~L  
**


	6. BatMobiles, Pranks, and XBoxes!

**A/N:**

**Okay. Like. 3rd update in one hour. Sorry, I keep getting inspirations!**

**MAYBE Bob will behave.**

**maybe**

**Okay now...Enjoy!**

**OH VampyrGirl101 gave me the idea!**

**BOB'S NOT BEHAVING.**

**URGHHHH!**

**Oh well. You'll figure it out.**

**~L  
**

* * *

**Edward; **Bella; _Jasper; **Alice; **_**Rosalie; _Emmett;_**

(Around the kitchen Table. Emmett is upstairs and Bella is about to prank call Emmett.)

(A/N: I'll put A/Ns by the words that Bob doesn't Behave on.)

**This ought to be interesting..**

_This'll get him back for..what exactly?_

**Beats me. (--Rosalie)  
**

(Bella: Talking on the phone and imitating Rosalie's voice): "Emmy poo! Yeah, like I just wanted to tell you that we're over and I've decided to run off with Seth. Yeah he's just soooo cute and sweet and charming! We're moving to Australia! Okay, yeah that's all. Bye!" (She hung up)

**I have to give you your props. Emmett is going to be FREAKING OUT! (--Rosalie)  
**

(Emmett runs all the way to Australia, screaming: "I'M GOING TO KILL THAT DOG!")

_Ahahahahahahaha!_

**Okay..now what?**

OH OH!. Two words..

_**X-Box?**_

**Actually, that's like.. 1 1/2 words...**

**_Whatever. Still, this'll be FUN! _**

**Oh Boy...**

EDDY POO VAMPIRE SPARKLE MAN!

**-sigh- Yes?**

Where does Emmett keep his games for his x-box?

_Bottom cabinet._

_**Thanks Jasper!**_

_Ergh..No problem?_

(5 minutes later: They are all playing Grand Theft Auto)

**Bella..you just ran over that cop! (--Rosalie)  
**

OmyVampire! HOT DOG!

_**Bella, sometimes I worry about you..**_

No no NO! I MEAN FLYING GIANT NEON WIENER AT...-looks at clock- 12:00!!!!!

**OmyEmmett, it flew right into that old lady! (--Rosalie)  
**

**Rosalie, that was a lamp post..**

GUYS! OUTSIDE! GIANT NEON WIENER!

**Bella, that's not a weiner..**

_**SON OF A...**_

**ALICE!  
**

**_...GIANT NEON WIENER!_**

**Thank you.**

**OH NO! It's Emmett! Oh shit he looks pissed..**

TO THE BAT MOBILE!

**_What? Bella, we don't own a bat mobile.._**

Then whats that black car in the driveway with tinted windows that says "BAT MOBILE"?

**Thats my car..only it's silver..and..who the hell wrote Bat Mobile on it?!**

_Erm...yeah..about that..._

**YOU SCRATCHED MY CAR?!**

_It wasn't my fault! Bella told me to!_

**WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL HIM TO SCRATCH UP MY CAR...AND PAINT IT BLACK??**

You're a vampire!

**..And?**

They can turn into bats!

**Oh my God.**

..Thus the bat mobile was born! -grins-

* * *

**A/N:**

**AHAHAHA! I was cracking up!!!! Okay like tell me if you hate this story please. Because, like, I don't know if I'm doing a very good job or not!**

**Push review.**

**Just do it!**

**Oh and don't ask how they're writing and playing at the same time.**

**They just can.**

**Cuz They're awesome like that!**

**Reviews make me happy! :)  
**

**~L  
**


	7. Cream Cheese!

**(Edward; **Bella; **Alice; ****_Emmett)_**

**Bella. What're you doing?**

Putting creme cheez in meh OJ!

**...Why on Earth are you doing that?**

Bcush the voicezzz in meh brain told meh 2!

**...Er..Voices?**

Yurrrp! The ones that sound like Spongebob!..and...um...OH yeah and the Flying Squirrel voice!

**Bella, OhMyVAMPIRE! We needz us a club! **(--Alice)

OhHolyCremeCheeseVampireCrackerz!

**What?**

Thats the totally awesomez name of our club!

**What about the flying squirrel?**

**_HOLYWEREWOLF THERE'S A FLYING SQUIRREL??? WHERE??  
_**

**Emmett. You're a vampire. What's a flying squirrel gunna do?**

Edward.

**Yes?**

Letz me and Alice explainz!

**Okayz, well, The flying squirrel was made my Dracula and then he became all evil. So then..**

..A totally wicked cat came out of nowhere and asked for directions. The squirrel bit the cat and the cat turned evil!

**Then the cat went up to Lucky and the Trix rabbit and bit them. Now, The trix rabbit and Lucky are cereal rapists and are plotting to takeover the universe! **(--Alice)

**...All because of a flying squirrel! **(--Alice)

Get it now, Eddy Poo Sparkly Suger Vampireness Hot Robert Pattinson Look Alike Hubby? :)

**..Erm not really. What about the Cream Cheese?**

What about it?

**..Er...I don't know. You said it first.**

Said what?

_**Cream Cheese!**_

CREAM CHEEZ! OO WHERE!??!? ON AN ENGLISH MUFFIN?? OO EDDY!

**..Yes?**

What do English Muffins Say Before They Get Spread with yummeh to the max cream cheese?

**..-sigh- What?**

I dunno I was hopin you'd know..anyway...where were we? Oh yesh! CREAM CHEESE!

**What about it?**

I dunno..Emmett jus stabbed meh wif a cream cheese needle..

**He..what?**

**Cream Cheese Needle. Keep up Eddy!**

**..I really don't want to know..**

-stupidly- CREAM CHEESE MUFFINS ARE REALLY GREAT, REALLY GREAT, REALLY GREAT! CREAM CHEESE MUFFINS ARE REALLY GREAT! UNTIL BARNEY THE PERVERTED PURPLE DINOSAUR EATS THEM UP!

**...**

Eddy?

**..What now, Bella?**

Come closer.

Nooo, closer!

(Bella gets right up next to his ear and yells): "CREAM CHEEZ ROCKS!"

* * *

**A/N:**

**Okay like, inspiration? My mom was eating a muffin a minute ago (an English muffin) and she had cream cheese spread on it. And I was like, "OME! CREAM CHEESE!" and she just stared at me!**

**Hehe**

**Ironic thing? I hate cream cheese. :D**

**Push review before Bella spreads cream cheese on it and eats it. Bob isn't behaving so I'm just gunna quit using the retarded Underline button.  
**

**:)**

**~L  
**


	8. Perverted Banana!

**Edward; **Emmett; _Bella_

(Emmett is trying to figure out a way to annoy Bella. Bella and Edward are passing notes. Go figure. They're oblivious to everything. XD)

* * *

**What, in the good Lord's name, is Emmett doing to your closet?**

_How should I know? I'm not the mind reader._

**Oh. Right..erm..let's see..HOLY SH...**

_EDWARD ANTHONEY MASEN CULLEN!_

**...Holy Sheep with a buzz cut that has an imaginary flower friend named Dave who's a wannabe Paris Hilton!**

_Thank you. Now, what's he thinking?_

**He's freaking screaming the song "Sound Of Music" in Japanese at me!**

_OMG EDWARD GUESS WHAT?!_

**What is it now?**

_You know what Emmett kinda looks like?_

**What?**

_A perverted banana who steals Trix and Lucky Charms and molests children while screaming, "WE NEED MORE MILK!"_

**Cool.**

_You sick bastard..._

* * *

**A/N:**

**Okay, seriously, I was cracking up! Sorry it's so short! I couldn't think of anything to write.**

**Okay as for the banana-trix-lucky charms-molester thing: Well, okay me and my friend Lauren were talking on the phone and suddenly, out of no where, she screams: "OH MY GOD! MOM! THAT BANANA LOOKS LIKE A PERVERT WHO STEALS TRIX AND LUCKY CHARMS AND MOLESTS CHILDREN WHILE SCREAMING 'WE NEED MORE MILK!'"**

**And I was like..**

**Holy.**

**Mother-freaking-Vampire**

**Crap.**

**Then Boom.**

**This chapter was born. So yeah. You may be wondering: "Why can Bella say Bastard but Edward can't say shit?"**

**Well, it's funnier that way!**

**As for the Sheep with a buzz cut that has an imaginary flower friend named Dave who's a wannabe Paris Hilton..well..let's just say my friends are the strangest people you'll ever meet.**

**Anyway, why are you still reading this?**

**Review! They make me happy!**

**:)**

**~L  
**


	9. That's What She Said! VI Author's Note

**A/N:**

**Totally annoying but needs to be said.**

**Okay, I got a review that asked if I would do, sort of like an IM version of the notes and I thought that was a pretty great idea.**

**But, I'm still not sure.**

**So**

**There will be a new Poll up on my profile in the next 5 minutes**

**asking you about that.**

**Please answer it!**

**Majority wins.**

**Mkay?**

**Play nicely!**

* * *

**Edward; **Bella; _Alice_

_

* * *

_

_I have seen..._

**What have you seen?**

BANANAS ARE GUNNA TAKE OVA THE WORLD?!?! NOO!

THEY'LL MOLEST YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!

**Bella...do you need the needle?**

NO! NOT THE NEEDLE!

_I was gunna say I've forseen that we will soon be upgraded to computers and IM.._

**Oh! That's a relief.**

_But, what Bella said works too!_

**Oh sh..**

_Edward.._

**..shrubs.**

I like cream cheese!

**Of course you do Bella. Just like I like dancing around in my undies singing "I'm A Barbie Girl"**

You do?!?!

**No...**

_Yes he does.._

Shaweet! Do you eat cream cheese while doing that?

**Bella, sweetie, we can't eat.**

That's what she said!

**Bella...**

That's what she said!

**Bella stop.**

That's what she...okay.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Seriously. I have no clue what "That's What She Said" even means.**

**Every guy at my school says that and I keep asking, "WTF does that mean???"**

**and I haven't gotten answers yet.**

**So.**

**Anyway.**

**Please take the poll!**

**I'll luv you forever!**

**If it's not up yet. Keep refreshing my profile till it comes up.**

**Push the button!**

**You know you wanna!**

**~L  
**


	10. Candy Mountain, Edward!

**A/N:**

**PLEASE take part in the poll! It's up on my profile.**

**Vote.**

**Now.**

**Do it!  
DO IT!**

**Mk.**

**

* * *

Edward; **Bella; _Alice_

(Everyone is just sitting around, being bored when Bella goes...)

* * *

I wanna go to candy mountain!

**What..?**

_Edward hasn't heard of candy mountain?_

OH MY VAMPIRE! You've not heard of candy mountain?

**No. Will somebody inform me what it is??  
**

_How about we show you?_

**That works too..**

**(_Emmett)_**

**I'm thinking we better bring Emmett just in case.**

**_Bring me where?_**

_CANDY MOUNTAIN!  
_

_**OMYVAMPIRE REALLY!?**_

YES! Now let's goooo

(5 minutes later they arrive in this cardboard house thingy labeled "Candy Mountain". These guys in suits that spell "Candy" are singing)

**What the hell?**

Come on! Let's go inside!

**Bella, honey, I don't like the looks of this.**

**_OHMYJESUS! CANDY! _**

(Emmett rushes inside. The doors close. You can hear him inside.)

_**"What the..? Where's the candy?"**_

_**"Wait a minute. Who are you..OMG YOU'RE THE CANDY MAN!"**_

(All goes quiet. Everybody leaves.)

(A Day later, Emmett is found in the woods, knocked out.)

**"Emmett? Are you okay?"**

**_"Yeah, I think.." _**(He looks at his side. It's bleeding.)

_**"Oh God, they took my freaking KIDNEY!"**_

* * *

**A/N:**

**Heh**

**Yeah.**

**Last minute inspiration.**

**A chapter will be dedicated (sorta) to the person who first guesses what inspired me...!**

**Push review.**

**Do.**

**It.**

**:)**

**~L  
**


	11. Hiyahh!

**A/N:**

**Okay, even though only 3 people voted...**

**Bella and everybody else will be updated to computers and AIM.**

**Yay.**

**But for now, I have 2 more chapters of just notes I wanna get posted before I give them laptops.**

**Enjoy!**

**(Jade's Roses guess Charlie the Unicorn as my inspiration first and she's right! Ha-Ha. Gotta luv Charlie!)**

**

* * *

**Bella; **Edward; _Emmett_**

(Bella and Edward are watching Emmett play bowling on the Wii)

* * *

**I really don't understand the point of this game.**

Why? You just press a button a swing the control back. You really are dense, Eddy-poo.

**Well, I get that..but..**

But what? It's not that hard to figure out! -shakes head-

**Why can't they make the controls vampire resistant?**

I...uh...I..well..don't ask me!

**Who do you suppose I ask?**

I dunno...the really totally awesome Chinese people! Like Jackie Chan! Hiyahh!

(Emmett breaks yet another controller while Bella tries to imitate Jackie Chan)

_**Dammit! Stupid rabbit! Trix are for kids!**_

**Whaa.??**

Huh?

_**What what?**_

**Emmett...**

**_Edward.._**

Bella!

**Bella, go show Alice your awesome karate moves.**

Okay!

(She goes upstairs and karate chops Alice's shoe collection in half while yelling, "HIYAHH!")

(Alice: Out loud from upstairs): "Okay, now THAT I did not see coming!"

* * *

**A/N:**

**I wrote this in my random notebook last night before I went to sleep. It's not my best, I know. But still: Review anyway. Please? :)**

**Push it.**

**Do.**

**It.**

**Now.**

**I'm serious.**

**I'll sick Bella and her karate moves on you!**

**He-He.**

**That's what I thought.**

**Reviews make me happy!**

**:D**

**~L  
**


	12. Santa Died!

**A/N:**

**This is the last chapter of my story The Notebook: Cullen Style!**

**BUT there's going to be a sequel.**

**The sequel is going to be called The Laptops Get Abused!!**

**Because Bella and the gang are all getting laptops so they'll be using those instead of using her notebook!**

**Speaking of which..**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

Edward; **Bella; _Alice; **Emmett**_

(For some reason, Emmett is REALLY upset..and it's Christmas Day!)

* * *

**Emmett, what's wrong now?**

**_You know how Rose told me Barney wasn't real..?_**

_Yeah..so?_

_**Well...STOP LAUGHING EDDY!**_

**Sorry, sorry! It's just..wow. She told you that?**

What did Rose tell him?

**Just that..Santa died.**

HE DID?! WHEN?!

_Bella, Santa isn't real.._

If he isn't real, then how did he die?

**Bella...never mind.**

**_Yeah, Rose won't let me go to his funeral._**

**...Where's his "funeral" being held?**

**_Candy Mountain.._**

_Emmett, do you remember what happened when you last went to Candy Mountain?_

_**No...wait! Yeah I do! They forgot to gimme candy!**_

(Everyone except Emmett sigh out loud)

**Emmett. You are not going to Candy Mountain.**

**_You aren't my mother!_**

**True, but I read Esme's thoughts. You still aren't going to Candy Mountain.**

**_You aren't...!_**

**Carlisle isn't letting you go either.**

**_Darn._**

(Jasper walks in with 3 arm fulls of presents.) "Look what Santa dropped off!"

_**I thought Santa died..**_

(Jasper hands out identical looking presents to all of them. They open them and find a laptop)

_PINK!_

GREEN!

**Blue!**

You gotta use caps Eddy poo!

**What? Since when?**

Since your wife said so!

**Oh fine. BLUE!**

Thank you.

(Jasper got a yellow one; Emmett got an orange one; Esme got a purple one; Carlisle got a Red one; Rosalie got a rainbow one.)

_**How come my wife gets the rainbow one?**_

**Because...she was better than you this year.**

**_-tears up and runs off-_**

Oh dear..

**He'll be fine.**

_OH MY VAMPIRE!_

**What?!**

_We are SO getting AIM! This old fashioned notes writing is boring._

But..But..Fred is special!

(The fire is blazing in the fireplace)

_Yeah and now it'll be special..in notebook heaven!_

(Alice throws it in the fire)

Bella: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh wait. OH MY VAMPIRE! A SQUIRREL SCREEN SAVER!

Emmett: (from kitchen) "WHERE?!"

_**The~End...or is it?**_

_**

* * *

**_**A/N:**

**Sequel will be posted in about an hour. I hope you enjoyed this! **

**I need some help.**

**I need some funny screen name ideas for Bella and everybody else (INCLUDING: Renee, Charlie, Billy, Jake, Quil, Embry, Seth, Leah, Reneesme, Carlisle, Esme, Sam, etc)**

**Help?  
:D**

**Reviews make me happy!**

**SO PRESS THE BUTTON!**

**~L  
**


	13. Hey Guys! Its Been Awhile!

**A/N: **So, I don't know who all is still following me and my stories, but since this one is still up and has a lot of alerts and stuff I'm going to go ahead and post an Author's Note on here.

So, it's been a while since I finished this notes story. (Almost 2 years to be exact.) I was wondering what you guys would think about some of my new ideas.

Well, first things first: things have changed since y'all last viewed my profile and stories. For one, I am no longer 13 years old. I am now a mature 15 year old with a driver's license (learner's license.)

I have taken down most of my stories. The only stories up now are one-shots (and this notes story) and my new story I'm working on. So I hope you guys will go read those and review them and give me feedback.

Also, I was wondering what you guys would think about me maybe posting a new notes story on here and/or an angst-y story that's a little dark and that might have a couple lemons in it. I love writing the typical teenage stories about new students, first loves, loves at first sight, etc. Don't get me wrong. But I was thinking and I realize that I'm growing up. I'm not a little naive girl anymore. I've been experienced to many things, many of which are sexually related and not at all bubblegum and rainbows.

I'm also going to be working on an original story from time to time. Since school has started again, I won't have much time to do anything, let alone write, but I will make time.

If you guys want to contact me at my email: imfreefallingfast(at)hotmail(dot)com

You can find me on blogger: www(dot)missmaxattax(dot)blogspot(dot)com I mostly use this blog for personal use, but I'll post stuff about fanfic on there too when I have the time.

On Tumblr: www(dot)bubbles-are-fun(dot)tumblr(dot)com

On Twitter (yes, I have a Twitter!): www(dot)twitter(dot)com(slash)The_Book_Lover

So let me know your opinions, questions, concerns, etc. Because I love you guys. I really do.

-Deanna


	14. Goodbye For Now

So after a constant inner battle with myself for the past (almost two) years, I've decided to give up trying to write FanFiction, at least for the time being. I try to write new things, and I end up getting one chapter posted and completely forgetting about it. As I enter into the summer before my Senior year of high school, I do notice how much I've grown, not only as a person but also as a writer. My vocabulary is bigger, and I'm more mature about what I write. I don't write just silly little things for the heck of it; I try to write things that will have a purpose and that will ultimately entertain other people. My first story on here - ever - was Why Like When You Can Love? (Oh gosh, do you guys even remember that story?) And it got a really good review, but I eventually took it down because I was trying to writer better (more mature) things. Maybe that's where my inspiration started going downhill.

I just am not inspired to write FanFiction anymore. I tried my hardest for almost two years because I know you guys (if any of you are still out there) enjoy my writing and enjoy me as a person and I love all of y'all for that. But as my life moves ahead, and I get busier and busier I just won't have time for this. I have college classes, scholarships, and graduation to look forward to, not to mention my part-time job. I'll be doing homework or working every night, and barely have time to socialize with my friends, let alone get on the computer and try to post something I won't cringe at. I know it sounds awful, but I'm just too busy for this. Way too busy.

Does this mean I'm going to disappear for good? HECK NAW. I'll still be around; after all, there are many stories on here I'm subscribed to, many wonderful authors that I love, and this is such a great way to pass the time when I'm not doing anything. The only way FanFiction can get rid of me is if they ban my account, and I hope that never happens. My stories will stay up; I'm not going to take them down. I know my notes story was the amusement of a lot of people here, so why remove a good thing?

I joined FanFiction when I was 13 years old. It was a new website and I was (still am) an aspiring writer. I had plenty of ideas and wanted to write something I was proud of. I would come home from school every day and sit down at the computer and read reviews and messages related to the stories I had written, and then crank out another chapter. I enjoyed doing that; you have NO idea what joy it brought me.

FanFiction just doesn't have its spark anymore for me, guys. Sad, but true. I'm going to go to college and major in English, and hopefully by the time I graduate college (in 5 years, seeing as I have one more high school year left) I will have something published, and I will definitely update this and let y'all know. However, I don't think I'll be writing anymore about Bella or Edward or Harry or Hermione or any other fictional character for quite some time. As much fun as it was to manipulate them and all, I'm ready to move on to characters from my own imagination. I'm ready to create a world that YOU GUYS will fall in love with. I want to be able to see my name on this website, along with whatever series it is I've created. I want to be able to see you guys manipulate my characters and bring me joy and laughter and tears. I want to see all of this come true.

Right now, I'm an empty slate. But who knows what 5 years will bring? It's a long time, after all.

Feel free for you all to message me with questions or things of that nature; I will read and respond to them all.

But for now... goodbye, you guys. I'll miss each and every one of you. xoxoxo

-Deanna


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